Beth asks: Do you use a pacifier with your baby? Yes, we do. Before Hayes arrived, I knew that we would not give a pacifier to him. Then I read that it was good to put your baby to bed with a pacifier because it helps to prevent SIDS by keeping the airway open. SOLD. Ever since then, he has been put to bed with a pacifier... wether that is a nap or at night. (Also, babies like to suck. It is something that is comforting and familiar to them.) I have one with me when we go to the store or to any other event to give to him if he gets fussy. He is getting a bit too old for this now, I think. We will tackle the task of taking it away when we get there. That is just how we are rolling with it... we aren't going to get worked up about what anyone else thinks...(although, we will be working on it soon enough) orthodontically speaking, it won't hurt his teeth until he is four. He will not have it that long, by any means! He likes his paci and I am thankful for that... it has been a good tool in comforting him and me.
Do you allow your baby to sleep in the same room as you? Hayes slept in his awesome hospital issue 1950's bassinet (that Grandma Brown scored for him) in our room for about three months. It was very convenient to roll out of bed and there he was waiting for a feeding or a diaper change... or I could just look over to see that, yes he was still breathing. When it was time to upgrade to the space of the crib... he was in his own room. In our house, it is almost like being in the same room, though--tiny.... I have felt that it has always been important to avoid bad habits (co-sleeping). Once they are in -- those kids don't want to leave. I do take naps with Hayes sometimes-I think that is far enough removed from night time sleeping that he isn't going to get any ideas.
Do you bottle feed or nurse? I am a proud breast feeding mother. I read all about it and took a class on it before Hayes arrived. From all of that, I knew that is what I wanted for Hayes. I know how important it is for the baby in so many ways (bonding, security, immunity-Hayes caught his first cold at ten months and was a champ, his taste is more developed, too-and many more). I also know the benefits for me (prevention of breast cancer, bonding, convenience, calories burned, etc.) At eleven months, we are still a breast feeding couple and I plan to begin the weaning process after his first birthday. (Because I only work occasionally on Saturdays, he has had some formula... about a can and some total. I pumped the first several times that I worked but as he got older, I got lazy...) He has been off the bottle and onto a sippy cup since he was 8 months old. It should be a smooth transition from Mom's milk to cows milk.
Do you feed on demand or do you create a schedule for your child's eating? I have always fed on demand. In the beginning there was no predicting when it was time to nurse, I just watched for those slight signs: hands to the mouth, making an "o" with the mouth, turning head to the side... and I was on it. I never let that boy cry for his supper. After he passed the three month marker, I began to push the feeding 'schedule' a bit. I didn't plan anything out...I just would try to lengthen the time between his night time feedings.... never during the day.. there were some days when he would nurse every hour. (I knew that the more he ate during the day, the less he would need/want at night.) If we were going out somewhere (the store, the gallery), I would always 'top him off' to buy some time and hope that he wouldn't be hungry before we got home. Another thing I did as far as [non]scheduling goes.. naps... I would tire him out with tummy time and book reading and I knew when he was tired enough to be rocked to sleep. That way, he was stimulated and he was sure to get the amount of rest he needed.
Do/Did you take your child to restaurants as infants? We really do not go out to eat. There is no budget for it--so we are always around our dinner table... unless Grandma and Grandpa Brown take us out... then we have gone to places like (is it the Great Wall by Wal Mart in Washington??) the chinese restaurant by Wal Mart in Washington for his first ever restaurant experience..... he was very good. He has been to MCL, The Bird House at McCormick's Creek a couple of times, Mi Pueblo, Qdoba, The Family Restaurant, Golden Corral, The Eagles, and I am sure I am forgetting something.... He has been a very good baby--if he is fed, he is happy. Aside from restaurants, he has been to many art functions... where, babies also need to be on their best behavior. At the Indianapolis Museum of Art, there will be exclusive preview parties for upcoming exhibits--he has gone to a couple of those. Art galleries galore.... Scott and I felt that it was important to expose him to crowds of people very early and often--so that maybe he may become used to it--and not scared of it. And, by reading my blog, you may know that I have also attempted to take him to artist lectures. We aren't there for long--but we attempt it--and he therefore, is exposed....
Here is Hayes at his first restaurant experience: Christmas Eve in a Washington Chinese restaurant. It is a family tradition. Hayes was almost three weeks old.
How often do you bathe your infant/child? At first, I rarely bathed him. He didn't need it. Until that umbilical cord fell off, I probably only bathed him a few times. When it finally did fall off, I bathed him every three days or so. Once he was about three months, I decided it was time to use bath time to my advantage... even though he did not need bathed every day, I wanted it to become regimen. (Structure is so important for kids--they need it and they want it. If I impose it early, I know it will pay off later.) I started to bathe him every evening before his bed time. Now, it is dinner, bath, bed. Not so strictly-- but it is expected. He likes structure and so do I. He now goes to bed around 8pm and is up and ready around 7am. Rarely does he wake during the night.
So, that does it for Beth's questions.... was I going to add anything I want to share??? Um, of course I was....
Crying to sleep. That is a tough one... but--we have employed it when nothing else would work. We do tend to parent him to sleep most of the time. The days of swaying him to sleep while humming to music seem to be mostly gone. I still will snuggle and rock him to sleep in my rocking chair (the one my sister and I were rocked in as babies) for naps. Scott bounces him to sleep at night in his recliner with the tv on to Jeopardy. There are some nights when it is up to me to put him to sleep and those nights he seems to wants to fight it. I will rock and rock and when nothing works, I put him in his crib, tell him that love him and good night. I walk out, he cries. I sit quietly and wait. He normally quiets to sleep in less than 10 minutes and stays asleep.
Television. Just recently, I read an article on the Baby Einstein DVDs and how they are complete bullshit. I could have guessed that one. What made people think that they could plunk their infant down in front of a tv and expect baby to soak in genius. Walt Disney is now offering money back to those who were duped by the promises that Baby Einstein made. People are too eager to find the easy way out... and too eager to get those damn dishes done. I rarely turn the tv on during the day. If Hayes is playing, I prefer to have the tv off and 85% of the time, I do. The sounds and sights of the television interfere with baby's play and train of thought. Sometimes (not everyday) I do turn on the tv at 4pm to catch Oprah. C'mon, it is Oprah. We play on the floor and watch Oprah... so that goes totally against the statement I just made--but this is the truth and reality of what I know and what we do. Also, we will watch the news and CBS Sunday Morning is a family ritual. Lastly, Hayes catches some tv with his Dad as he drifts off to sleep. I know that is not really good for him to be falling asleep to tv. But--here is the deal: His Daddy is at work all day and before dinner they have play time while I am cooking and after dinner they have relaxing time...Who am I to decide how they spend their time together? I am sure that some Moms with cable may have the tv on all day--but, that does not happen here. By the way, if at all possible, babies under 2 years old should not even be looking at any kind of screen. Try that in this day and age. Hayes is always after my phone which, of course, has a screen. I will not be putting Hayes in front of the tv any time soon... but he does happen to see it on a daily basis. (I have to say that we read several books everyday at least once a day--that is so important.)
Diapering. We use cloth diapers and disposable for night time and outings. We don't have the fancy new kind of cloth diaper that grows with the baby... but the kind your Mom used. We have a stock of cotton cloths and diaper pins. The vinyl pants can be hard to find.... especially the small ones. No one carries vinyl pants smaller than 12 months and most don't carry any smaller than 2T. This is a source for annoyance for me. I ordered my 0-3, 3-6, 6-9 month pants online. I currently have Hayes in the 12 month pants. By the way, not that anyone else on earth is using vinyl pants but I just thought I would share what I have learned: On the package, it directs the user to wash the pants in the machine. Don't do that if you want them to last more than 4 uses. I hand wash all vinyl pants and I get many many many uses. Of course hang them to dry. I use baby clothes hangers and hang them from the shower rod and they dry over night. I started the cloth diapers on January 26th. Hayes was seven weeks and three days old. I have used cloth diapers during the day everyday (with the exception of travel) since. It is not just a matter of the environment. In fact between the two, it evens out-environmentally. Disposable diapers today decompose in six months. The amount of water used to wash cloth diapers is big enough that the two methods environmentally cancel each other out... make sense? So, we do it to save money. We buy a box of diapers a month. That is about $19 spent every month on diapers. That equals out to be about $500 a year saved. I will take that. Thank you. I have to say, diapering with cloth requires extra work. I have a bucket in my space where the (emptied) soiled and wet diapers sit in waiting. I take the bucket down to wash. Fold the clean diapers. (I already said how I clean the vinyl pants.) Sounds easy, right? Sure. Easy enough for me--definitely not as easy as throwing a dirty diaper away, though. The actual act of diapering a little Hayes booty is proving to be more and more challenging. He is always running away from me as I try to pin him in. If you are complaining about your baby crawling away as you try to velcro him in to his disposable diaper, think of trying to clasp sharp little pins at each side of your baby's little body and then put another layer on after that. I am just saying....
Questions? Comments? I have more I can talk about-but I think this is plenty from my dining room for today.
5 comments:
Oh, I love this post!
I love This American Life, too. I should really listen to npr during my prep period at school instead of Pandora or the horrible 4th hour of the Today show.
I really enjoyed reading your responses to Beth's questions and your extra comments. This will be very nice to read for years to come!
Don't forget IHOP!
You really are a wonderful mother and Hayes is such a lucky little boy to have such wonderful, loving parents. Oli is very lucky, too!
I agree with Laura, you are such a wonderful mother to Hayes. and is that baby just flourishing or what? he is such a bright, healthy, HAPPY baby. bravo, mommy. love ya.
Thank you so much, Aunt Laura!! Yes, I knew I forgot something... Hayes has also been to IHOP in Terre Haute.
And Sarah, thank you very much. Sarah, you are doing great with Charlie, too--she is going to be one fabulous and (and fashionable) learned little girl!!!
Love you both!
thanks so much for answering these, paula! it is nice to have some young mom's insight, since the only moms i really talk with on a regular basis are my mother's age.
thanks too for the suggestion about "this american life" although my mom listens to it on the radio here somehow. i don't have a radio at home, and we are seldom in the car, but i will have to start streaming it online and getting the show on netflix, which i never knew about.
as for cloth diapering, it has been a little bit of work, especially since our laundry is downstairs. We don't dry them in the dryer, and just do a few loads a week. i still think that it makes more envirionmental sense to keep diapers out of the landfill, and if nothing else, think of the months of diapers that cloth-diapered babies save because they are potty-trained sooner than disposable-diaper babies :-) the cost savings are great too, as we only bought 10 ($120 worth) and got 10+ as gifts. i would suggest the local amish stores for plastic pants if you need them. i can tell you where some are out in the county or pick some up if you ever want me to.
we never had cable tv until having theo. i couldn't stand all the time at home honestly, since i am a person who likes to be gone. but since being gone wasn't good for a newborn, and he just mostly cried, we gave in. we don't watch it much at all during the day anymore, but as you said, when hard-working daddies get home from work, sometimes that is what they like to do with their sons :-)
well i am glad hayes is doing great under your loving care. keep up the good work. xoxoxo, beth
look at me! i figured out how to comment properly! yay!!! hahaha love ya
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