So, some new things are happening in my life--if you don't like controversy and true stories that are not all happy-perfect, click away... because--if I have not crossed the line into shockingly real yet, I do, here. I mean, this is no celebrity reality scandal--so it isn't super exciting... but, there are things I need to document--and it isn't pretty.
#1. Let me first talk about my purpose, here... as if I have not done it over and over again--I just feel the need to do so--both for myself and for the doubting Debbies out there. When I tell people that I have a blog.... first thing they say is: "What do you have a blog about?" As if to imply that I am so boring that I could not possibly have anything interesting to publish. And most certainly--no one could possibly read the thing! Well, on some levels, those Debbies have a point. Sure, I am not a celebrity, I am not a writer, I live in Indiana--I suppose those things make me excludable to some degree. Here are some of the reasons I trudge forth with my self exploiting posting exercises: Anyone may publish his or her writings/photographs/links/videos and so on--why not I? I am an observer of life. Certainly, I live my own--observe my own--but observe wholeheartedly all that life is. It is challenging and stressful for me to remember all I see. Therefore--I photograph and collect. What do I collect? The number one thing I collect is imagery-in the sad form of digital files, mostly....and too much junk--clippings from different types of print media, show cards, personal cards and letters, art and other random trinkets that connect my brain to some moment in time. It is too expensive to print all or any photographs I take--so, in order to share them, I must publish them online.... to me, it is like hanging them on the wall--without having to decide which frame and hammer another hole... In order to put those images in context, I must write. It is simple writing. I don't get the chance to read a lot of books--so, my vocabulary is rather sad. I need to open a book and spend some time..... I know. Another reason I write is to ventilate. I am sure I would benefit greatly from some psychotherapy. It isn't in the budget. I have to find my own therapy--albeit, public and open ended....it forces me to take a hard look at myself... it helps me to laugh at myself--and it helps me to get over all of it. In that writing, I share bits about my experience as a Mother, as a wife, as a freelance photographer, as a home owner, as a midwestern woman with big eyes for fashion as a way of glamorizing my potentially mundane existence....and so much more.... also, I can be creative, fast... I don't ask for a gallery show.... no one wants to visit a brick and mortar to see my work. (That is, if I could afford to print any of it.) I can shoot and share in a matter of hours if I want.
Okay--I really could go on and on about my personal philosophy of weblogging... and I will do it again and again... so, I apologize for the above and for the future ramblings on the subject.
I made a commitment to myself when I wrote my first post to always continue documenting and publishing. I will do my best.
#2-Notice the title of my post....yes, it is true. I have been fired due to the content of my website. As I suspected, when I shared an extremely vague account of a happening at the flower shop over the summer, I laid it on the line. My job--or "working relationship" as it was put in the email (yes, email) notifying me of the executive decision to wipe me from the payroll-- has been terminated. Sure, my bad. (And, in their defense, I am sure that they called it tit-for-tat... kind of like-'oh, if you are going to electronically air our business--we will electronically fire you'....maybe??) Eh, well, of course, and because it is so easy to push the "reply" button, I did. Aaaaand, at this point, what do I have to lose, right? Well, the only thing I have left from JP Parker are the wonderful experiences and dear friendships I have with most of the people there--and I am figuring that some of those people hate me--so, I might as well go on and share some final thoughts. I did. It was a thankful response... mostly. I hope we all learned lessons from our mistakes in this happening. Did I make a mistake? Yes. I should have told JP Parker that I had a weblog. I should have told them that I was going to mention them in it. I should have forced them to hear my real voice.... I can't regret what I have said/published. I sometimes think--I wonder if I am selfish and that I stole time from them--precious time that they could have been teaching some one else... some one more pliable... My answer is no way. As I was adding to my knowledge bank, I was helping them build their business. There were customers who only wanted to work with me... I did some great designs representing them. I helped rake brides in at various shows. I photographed for them and waited months for payment doing my best to keep patient all while, at home, we had no bread and no gas to get anywhere. I did make sacrifices for them. Even the night before I received the flaming email, Scott and I hung up fresh artwork in the space--keeping Hayes up past his bedtime.... and did we get compensated for that? No. We won't see money for that--I knew it as we were working... I warned Scott, "um, this is for free, by the way... thank you." He just rolled his eyes, shook his head and kept working. I hope they are enjoying that fabulous artwork by Linda Adele Goodine hanging above their heads.
UPDATE: We did get paid for that work. Fair and square.
Well, it certainly was a priceless experience learning and working at JP Parker Flowers. No one can ever take that away from me.
And this experience of being fired has brought on all sorts of thoughts and feelings. I have been mourning the loss of dear friends. I have been thinking and worrying that from the outside I must look like a complete flake. Especially to people who have known me my whole life.... When I was younger--I understood that the appropriate thing to do in life is: pick a profession, go to college, get a job, make a family, be successful in that job for many years....
I am not sure that I really ever believed in that--I wonder if the people who do believe in that are disappointed in me.... Now, here I am, fired from my last official job--it was not my college major--but it was my first real job out of college... Am I just floating on through life? No. I am building my knowledge bank bigger and bigger with every experience I embrace. May I take a moment to list all of the jobs I have had? I think it will be fun--each position has informed me in some way about life and work. I won't touch on what I learned.... I will spare you that today....
I was a Diet Aide in a hospital cafeteria.
I worked at Dominos Pizza.
I earned my certification as a Certified Nurses' Aide.
I was a Mary Kay saleswoman.
I was a studio monitor in the photo lab at Vincennes University.
I worked as a sales associate at a jewelry store.
I was a host at Olive Garden.
I was a sales associate at Pier 1 Imports.
I volunteered at the Indiana History Center in Preservation Imaging scanning nitrate negatives.
I hosted and bussed tables at Smee's Place Bar and Grill.
I was a studio assistant for photographer, Linda Adele Goodine.
I taught Photography I at Herron School of Art and Design.
I curated for an "underground" art gallery in Indianapolis.
And lastly, designer of flowers at JP Parker Flowers.
During almost all of these jobs, I have shot various weddings, events and portraits.
Recently, I have served at private parties as a bartender.
Currently, I assist Amber Utter of Chemically Dependent Salon in Greenwood.
I will always be a practicing photographer.
(I am pretty sure that covers it--but, I am sure that some one will remind me of a job I have done and forgot about.)
In lieu of the end of my floral design career... (I know, just because I don't work with JP Parker doesn't mean I quit floral design forever....I just don't see working for any other flower shop in this city--JP Parker is the BEST!) ....would you like to see some of my designs? Of course you do! I think it will be evident that I am a fan of asymmetry.....
#1. Let me first talk about my purpose, here... as if I have not done it over and over again--I just feel the need to do so--both for myself and for the doubting Debbies out there. When I tell people that I have a blog.... first thing they say is: "What do you have a blog about?" As if to imply that I am so boring that I could not possibly have anything interesting to publish. And most certainly--no one could possibly read the thing! Well, on some levels, those Debbies have a point. Sure, I am not a celebrity, I am not a writer, I live in Indiana--I suppose those things make me excludable to some degree. Here are some of the reasons I trudge forth with my self exploiting posting exercises: Anyone may publish his or her writings/photographs/links/videos and so on--why not I? I am an observer of life. Certainly, I live my own--observe my own--but observe wholeheartedly all that life is. It is challenging and stressful for me to remember all I see. Therefore--I photograph and collect. What do I collect? The number one thing I collect is imagery-in the sad form of digital files, mostly....and too much junk--clippings from different types of print media, show cards, personal cards and letters, art and other random trinkets that connect my brain to some moment in time. It is too expensive to print all or any photographs I take--so, in order to share them, I must publish them online.... to me, it is like hanging them on the wall--without having to decide which frame and hammer another hole... In order to put those images in context, I must write. It is simple writing. I don't get the chance to read a lot of books--so, my vocabulary is rather sad. I need to open a book and spend some time..... I know. Another reason I write is to ventilate. I am sure I would benefit greatly from some psychotherapy. It isn't in the budget. I have to find my own therapy--albeit, public and open ended....it forces me to take a hard look at myself... it helps me to laugh at myself--and it helps me to get over all of it. In that writing, I share bits about my experience as a Mother, as a wife, as a freelance photographer, as a home owner, as a midwestern woman with big eyes for fashion as a way of glamorizing my potentially mundane existence....and so much more.... also, I can be creative, fast... I don't ask for a gallery show.... no one wants to visit a brick and mortar to see my work. (That is, if I could afford to print any of it.) I can shoot and share in a matter of hours if I want.
Okay--I really could go on and on about my personal philosophy of weblogging... and I will do it again and again... so, I apologize for the above and for the future ramblings on the subject.
I made a commitment to myself when I wrote my first post to always continue documenting and publishing. I will do my best.
#2-Notice the title of my post....yes, it is true. I have been fired due to the content of my website. As I suspected, when I shared an extremely vague account of a happening at the flower shop over the summer, I laid it on the line. My job--or "working relationship" as it was put in the email (yes, email) notifying me of the executive decision to wipe me from the payroll-- has been terminated. Sure, my bad. (And, in their defense, I am sure that they called it tit-for-tat... kind of like-'oh, if you are going to electronically air our business--we will electronically fire you'....maybe??) Eh, well, of course, and because it is so easy to push the "reply" button, I did. Aaaaand, at this point, what do I have to lose, right? Well, the only thing I have left from JP Parker are the wonderful experiences and dear friendships I have with most of the people there--and I am figuring that some of those people hate me--so, I might as well go on and share some final thoughts. I did. It was a thankful response... mostly. I hope we all learned lessons from our mistakes in this happening. Did I make a mistake? Yes. I should have told JP Parker that I had a weblog. I should have told them that I was going to mention them in it. I should have forced them to hear my real voice.... I can't regret what I have said/published. I sometimes think--I wonder if I am selfish and that I stole time from them--precious time that they could have been teaching some one else... some one more pliable... My answer is no way. As I was adding to my knowledge bank, I was helping them build their business. There were customers who only wanted to work with me... I did some great designs representing them. I helped rake brides in at various shows. I photographed for them and waited months for payment doing my best to keep patient all while, at home, we had no bread and no gas to get anywhere. I did make sacrifices for them. Even the night before I received the flaming email, Scott and I hung up fresh artwork in the space--keeping Hayes up past his bedtime.... and did we get compensated for that? No. We won't see money for that--I knew it as we were working... I warned Scott, "um, this is for free, by the way... thank you." He just rolled his eyes, shook his head and kept working. I hope they are enjoying that fabulous artwork by Linda Adele Goodine hanging above their heads.
UPDATE: We did get paid for that work. Fair and square.
Well, it certainly was a priceless experience learning and working at JP Parker Flowers. No one can ever take that away from me.
And this experience of being fired has brought on all sorts of thoughts and feelings. I have been mourning the loss of dear friends. I have been thinking and worrying that from the outside I must look like a complete flake. Especially to people who have known me my whole life.... When I was younger--I understood that the appropriate thing to do in life is: pick a profession, go to college, get a job, make a family, be successful in that job for many years....
I am not sure that I really ever believed in that--I wonder if the people who do believe in that are disappointed in me.... Now, here I am, fired from my last official job--it was not my college major--but it was my first real job out of college... Am I just floating on through life? No. I am building my knowledge bank bigger and bigger with every experience I embrace. May I take a moment to list all of the jobs I have had? I think it will be fun--each position has informed me in some way about life and work. I won't touch on what I learned.... I will spare you that today....
I was a Diet Aide in a hospital cafeteria.
I worked at Dominos Pizza.
I earned my certification as a Certified Nurses' Aide.
I was a Mary Kay saleswoman.
I was a studio monitor in the photo lab at Vincennes University.
I worked as a sales associate at a jewelry store.
I was a host at Olive Garden.
I was a sales associate at Pier 1 Imports.
I volunteered at the Indiana History Center in Preservation Imaging scanning nitrate negatives.
I hosted and bussed tables at Smee's Place Bar and Grill.
I was a studio assistant for photographer, Linda Adele Goodine.
I taught Photography I at Herron School of Art and Design.
I curated for an "underground" art gallery in Indianapolis.
And lastly, designer of flowers at JP Parker Flowers.
During almost all of these jobs, I have shot various weddings, events and portraits.
Recently, I have served at private parties as a bartender.
Currently, I assist Amber Utter of Chemically Dependent Salon in Greenwood.
I will always be a practicing photographer.
(I am pretty sure that covers it--but, I am sure that some one will remind me of a job I have done and forgot about.)
In lieu of the end of my floral design career... (I know, just because I don't work with JP Parker doesn't mean I quit floral design forever....I just don't see working for any other flower shop in this city--JP Parker is the BEST!) ....would you like to see some of my designs? Of course you do! I think it will be evident that I am a fan of asymmetry.....
4 comments:
Beautiful pics of beautiful flowers in beautiful arrangements by a beautiful person...both inside and out. Stay strong sweetie. Karma will shine ur way. Big D.
I am in awe of your honesty and your willingness to "put it all out there". I have a few years on ya so...Let me tell you this.... Never and I mean never stop being honest with yourself because as soon as you do you, you lose a part of yourself and makes a hole and it is hard to get back there and fill it back up. Believe me I know I still have one.....
The fact that you are keeping your head up is inspiring.- as you should! You are a very talented person with many, many joys ahead of you. Keep cherishing the "Simple" things.
You probably noticed from your analytics account that I looked at this a couple of times before commenting. But I just wanted to give you the time/consideration you deserve...
I agree with the other posters, and I want to add that your loyalty is one of your best qualities. It can come back to bite you if you give too much of yourself to your work, as you know. But, I think you are on to bigger and better things.
I am sorry to hear about your loss. I don't know what you went through but I am sure it was hard. I am sorry I don't have anything better to say, but I've been thinking of you...
xoxo, Beth/Pete/Theo
P.S Thank you so much for coming to the party. It meant a lot to us all. Next time we'll have to play with Scott and Hayes too. Maybe we could meet up for a fall hike?
Post a Comment